Underneath...

I walk around smiling.

People smile back.

Friends talk to me.

I do what I have to do,

Though it's not enough.

A smile that covers the pain,

The sorrow,

The screaming.

The warmth is crawling up, 

I can't stop it.

Then it all pulls together,

A ball of pain.

I feel like I'm dying,

Slowly, painfully.

The ball of pain keeps pushing and pushing,

Till finally I give up.

I'm scared,

It hurts so bad.

Just when I think it can't get any worse,

The ball of pain explodes!

It bursts into flames and hits the walls.

It destroys everything in it's way.

Now I'm numb,

But only for a second.

Then the pain feels like it's tearing me apart from inside,

I can't breathe.

Help me!

I start to scream till my lungs collapse.

The pain has taken over,

It won't stop.

No ending.

Underneath I'm crying.

Underneath I'm screaming.

Underneath I'm torn apart.

Underneath I'm numb.

I have to hide it.

Underneath, underneath, underneath. 

Written by Sascha Dollard

06.11.13

Being in love

Endless possibilities.

My hole body smiles.
How can this be?

Dreams of the future.

Everyone else disappears.

Just you and I.

I spread my wings of hope and jump.

I believe that I can fly and touch the sky.

Just you and I.

The sound of his name.
I whisper it again and again.

How can this be so beautiful and still hurt so bad?

Oh, I wonder.

One moment I can't stop smiling, the next, tears fall like rain from my eyes.

Just tell me you feel the same.

Tell me that you'll be mine, and I'll be fine.

Please! Just say it.

 

The thought of your embrase.

The touch of your lips on mine.

Your fingers running through my hair.

Oh such joy!

Dance with me, make me sway.

Dance the night away.

How long must my tears water this pillow?

 

My plead is as simple as it can be,
say you love me...

Written by Sascha Dollard

20.09.2014

Could this be love?

My heart jumps when I think of you.

Is this all just a dream?

I see your smile, it warms my heart.

I've not known you long, but these butterflies tells me, there could be something here.

How will I know?

Feelings come sneaking up on me, where could this lead?

When you are all alone, do I cross your mind?

I feel so lonely I could die.

When I think of you, I could cry.

Do you feel the same?

Am I just a long lost memory?

If you do not feel like I do, then all I ask of you; please release my heart.

Set me free so I can breathe again. 

Let me go, so I can smile once again.

Written by Sascha Dollard

25.09.2014

To my husband, (I have yet to meet)

I want you to hold me tight,
hold me and kiss me all through the night.

To tell me that you love me every day,
never to go away.

I need you to dry every tear from my eye,
and to never make me cry.

To correct me when I'm wrong,
and sometimes sing our song.

To forgive me when I'm mad,
and tell me when you feel bad.

To own up to your mistakes,
and think about the moves you make.

To be honest all the time,
and know that you will always be mine.

To say you're sorry when I'm sad,
and to someday be an amazing dad.

To guide us through our life,
from the day you make me your wife.

To be true to our dear God above,
and to imitate his kindness, selfishness and love.

To let love peacefully rule our home,
and let God be our spiritually comb.

I will love you till the day that I die,
and that will never happen, you know why.

I will always stand by your side,
and together we will take on the fight.

I will support you in any way that I can,
to me you will always be my man.

Hard times can be hard to swallow,
but wherever you lead I will follow.

Let God be the third string in our thread,
and He will always give us our daily bread.




Written by Sascha Dollard  23. Februar. 2013

Someday

Someday,
somebody's going to love me for who I am.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
people will understand how it feels to be me.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
you will understand who I am.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
you are going to regret losing me.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
I hope the world will be a better place because of me.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
I hope people can forgive the things I have done.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
I hope I don't have to fight so hard to be me.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
I hope someone will let me know who won this game.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
I hope that my body will set me free.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
I hope I can forgive myself.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
I hope that I can love me, for me.
Just me,
All of me.

Someday,
I pray that I can set myself free.
Just me,
All of me.

And just be me.




Written by Sascha Dollard  1. September. 2012

Somewhere

Hiding,
because you just can't do it.

Hiding,
because you can't go through it.

Hiding,
where can i hide?

I need a place, safe and sound.
Somewhere i can't be found.

Somewhere quit, somewhere cool.
Somewhere on this school.

Somewhere I can be alone,
somewhere I can wait to go home.

Somewhere I need to be.
Somewhere I can just be me.

Somewhere, I'm free...




Written by Sascha Dollard  29. August 2012

One Want

I want a man,
not a boy.
Someone to hold me,
so all the bad things go away.
Just hold me.
Don't say anything,
just hold me tight.

Love me with all your heart,
love me like I love you.

Stand by me all the time.
I have your back,
like you have mine.

Hold my hand like a fragile flower,
kiss me when I take a shower.
Hold me close to you as I've seen it,
and kiss me like you mean it!

Don't ever leave me,
cause my body can't take a broken heart again.
If you do I'm through with men,
and I'll never love again.

Don't hurt me so we can't fix it,
then I know we can make it.

Don't let the romance go,
we just need to show,
that our love will never die,
and i swear that's no lie!




Written by Sascha Dollard  28. August 2012

Twit Chat

I sit here in all my pain and sorrow,
while the people around me talk about nothing.

They make a lot of noise,
without saying anything.

It hurts in my head.

Why won't they stop!?

You are sick,
you are crazy.

How can you live like that?
With all your silly twit chat?

Silly guys,
have some compassion.

Just shut up and go home.

Stop that!

Silly twit chat.




Written by Sascha Dollard  28. August 2012

Raindrops

Raindrops on my window,
Raindrops on my face.
Raindrops in my hair,
Raindrops from the sky.

Raindrops on my cheeks,
Raindrops in my eyes.
Raindrops on my pillow,
Raindrops from my heart.

Rain can be so sad,
Rain can be so beautiful.
Rain can force the pain to come,
and wash it away again.

Rain, oh, rain come at wash me away.







Written by Sascha Dollard  28. August 2012

Best Friend

I want to go back.

Back to the day,
it was a day in May.

We ran together laughing,
and no one could touch us.
No one could hold us down.

You were my best friend,
I could truly be myself with you.

Like no one else could do,
you opened my heart.
And then you broke my bleeding heart in two...

How could you, best friend?













Written by Sascha Dollard  28. August 2012

Tempted

The eyes,

the smile,

the voice.

The hands,

the figure,

the neck.

The kindness,

the clumsiness,

the cuteness,

the loveliness.

Never been so..

Tempted...

I'm tempted.






Written by Sascha Dollard 27. August. 2012